Of Blood and Serpents
by Neurotic-Isopod
Summary: The dark Lord leaves a young girl with Severus, with the intention of returning for her after he disposes of the potters. Instead he falls out of power and Severus is left with a young charge whom he must take care of until the Dark Lord returns.
1. Of Blood and Serpents, Prologue

_Of Blood and Serpents._

_Part One._

Prologue:

The Night the Boy Lived.

It was a cold night when five three figures appeared silently and as if through thin air. The small crowded group at once became a triangle as they moved lithely over the muddied ground that lay beside a polluted river bank. As the figures ascended the bank they fell into a line, a black faded railing separating the dirty river from the beginnings of a narrowed cobble walk way which turned into the road of tightly huddled industrialized brick buildings.

The night was dead quiet, the festivities of the night having long been silent and though the sky was filled with rolling clouds which could be at any moment ready to burst they remained oddly silent as if holding their breath for the hooded figures.

The one leading was as indescribable as the others, but there was a certain gait to his walk; An aura of power and arrogance. The man beneath, although his expression was completely shrouded in darkness, was as it usually was: cruel and empty. With malice shining in the depths of his black eyes and his lips curled as if mockingly ready to sneer.

A small shape was almost invisible beside him in the darkness, the homes around them so devoid of light that she was nearly invisible, her form cloaked in black as the others were. The small hooded shape was a child though it was difficult to discern it from the man until the child fell back, unable to keep up with the leaders sharp stride. Whenever its paced lagged there would be a small jerk as the man pulled the child back into order beside him.

Had the hood of the child's been pulled down one might have been able to see two black braids of hair, and a small round cheeks of a girl that could be no more than six. They came to a stop at the last home on the edge of Spinner's end, the master stepping to the door to knock once soundly and was already reaching for his wand as he was not a particularly patient man when it came to simple politeness. There was no need though for the door swung open revealing a pale young man with greasy parted hair and steady black beetle eyes. He bowed his head formally as he stepped back, permitting the entrance of the figures to his home.

Severus straightened but as his eyes were downcast he noticed the small child being pulled beside the dark lord as he passed, and the white hands linking them together as they walked. As the leader of the entourage entered the small book lined sitting room he swept off his hood exposing the queer face of the man beneath. While he was most certainly a man, his skin was waxen and blanched, the eyes that peered out from his sockets were black, and perhaps if his pupils were visible would have been slits, the accumulation of these traits making him look somewhat inhuman altogether. His mouth twitched slightly in small distaste to the room but the made no motion to comment as the two entered standing to his side, their faces which were now tilted and bathed in dim candle light where actually masked. Severus entered last and stood quite silent awaiting his master to speak.

"I'm sure Severus you are curious as to why I asked you to leave your post this all hallows eve?" His voice was harsh, his eyes nearly unblinking as he spoke to his servant who lowered his head, his hair limply swaying with a short nod. Severus had become well aware that the Dark Lord was a master of the obscure branch of Legilimens and while he had confidence his Occulmency was strong he was not impenetrable as Dumbledore himself demonstrated for him. But he could not risk making the Dark Lord wary for averting his eyes long and raised them again.

"Leave us." He ordered curtly to the two death eaters that had followed him, never taking his eyes from the man before him as the two left silently. "Are you enjoying your current post Severus?" His tone was inquiring, but as there always was, a hint of danger lurking beneath. With the Dark Lord nothing was ever certain, or what it seemed to be.

"Yes my lord." He answered coolly. Truth be told Severus had met his 'Dark Lord' on only one other occasion, that which he became a Death Eater, but truly he was _Malfoy's _underling and the Dark Lords presence truly unnerved Dumbledore's agent.

"And Dumbledore suspects nothing of your absence tonight?" He pressed, his voice tapering to a hiss.

"Dumbledore seems... wary perhaps but, he believes I am a reformed man.." It was the truth, or something akin to it, Dumbledore was well aware of him leaving the feast, for he had alerted him the moment he had been called and told of the little 'meeting' which would be held in his home by Malfoy.

Had Dumbledore not have had rummaged through Severus's to 'test' his skill Occulmency and gathered the sincerity of his intentions in the various imaged that were leaked through Severus's defences he may not have been so trusting. His lord sneered bemused by Severus words.

"Dumbledore always was a fool, but even fools have their uses." His eyes glittered red in the rooms hazy glow, but he was satisfied by his answer and continued.

"but, for tonight Severus, I have another task for you." He drawled eyes flicking down to the quiet, seemingly forgotten child beside him. He shrugged his hand from her grasp, his own white slender fingers glowing in the candlelight as he brought it down on the child's head sliding the hood which had obscured her face back.

"I trust your position at Hogwarts has made you apt in dealing with children?" he sneered, though it was not truly a question as Severus beady black eyes glittered upon the child who tilted her head up fractionally her eyes glittering in the light.

"My lord?"

"You are to keep her until I return." he ordered snidely. "Now leave us." He snipped, his voice dangerously impatient. His back was already turned as his lord swept down onto one knee before the child and Severus did not look behind him as he slipped into his narrow darkened hall.

There was something of a hiss from the sitting room, low and of which could easily be mistaken as a rustling. An instant later the dark lord appeared, his face once again obscured by the drawn hood of his cloak, but his eyes glittered from within.

"Satisfy her needs until I return."

Severus closed the door behind his master straightening as if he'd been relieved of some sort of pressure on his back. Returning to his cramped living room he saw that the child sat upon the couch her eyes black and nearly vacant as Severus approached.

"Do you have a name child?" Her black eyes blinked up at him solemnly and he thought perhaps she may not have understood him at first. Then slowly her large eyes blinked and she gave a small shake of her head, the eyes that seemed vacant before suddenly looking sharper and observant as she stared as Severus before her.

"Who are you?" she asked her high child's voice was unnaturally cold and was misplaced coming from her baby cheeks.

"I am Severus." He answered expressionlessly observing the unusual child before him.

"Does it mean anything?" Yes, Severus was nearly certain now that the tone the child used did not seem to belong to her, but instead a cold woman instead. Though Severus could sense not dark magic his mind couldn't help but wander to the imperious curse, but then what purpose was there in cursing a mere child? Was this some sort of warning from the Dark Lord? Had he become aware of Severus's becoming Dumbledore's spy?

"I'm unsure." He replied eventually, forcing his mind calm and away from such thoughts. If the Dark Lord believed his loyalty questionable he would certainly be dead by now and not be caring for a questionable child.

"Severus, I would like supper."

.

.

_Babysitting_ duty. Severus had clenched his teeth as he made his way into the kitchen of his childhood home. It was not long ago that his father had finally passed and thus he had inherited the house in Spinner's end. He did not quite enjoy living in the home that was so teeming with unpleasant memories, but as quaint as it was, gave him a space to think and walls to isolate himself behind.

Manoeuvring around the small kitchen Severus removed a pot which hung from the ceiling and tapped his wand against the stove to alight the burner. Spaghetti was a simple dish in which he had the ingredients for. It was no Hogwarts meal but considering Severus had not been within the home of spinners end since he began working as a double agent at Hogwarts they were most likely the only unspoiled rations left in his home.

A shrill terrifying scream suddenly ripped from behind him. His heart jammed into his spine as he whipped around running to the room that the child was in. She was on the floor, curled into a tiny black ball, her tiny heart drumming so hard in her chest where a great pain it seemed had stabbed through her. Severus bent over her instantly, touching her back, eyes darting around the room for something she could have possibly harmed herself on.

The child jerked up wards haphazardly, eyes wide, and no longer black but a deep green that sent a jolt into Severus. Her eyes seemed wide and terrified, and suddenly much more childlike, blood, trickled down from her nose to her trembling lips.

"Gone.." She wailed staring at him, hands balled into her hair, Severus held her swaying form by her elbow, crouched down beside her trying to make out the words she was whispering in a thick child's voice. "Gone.. he's all gone... disappeared..." She wailed as suddenly black figures burst into the room, a woman screeching.

"_THE DARK LORD HAS VANISHED_!" Bellatrix screamed agonizingly shrill, not to Severus but to all the dark figures who were suddenly in the room.

"What has happened?" Severus jumped up in alarm gripping the child's hand in his. Lucius removed his mask and hood with a flash of his wand.

"Severus! The dark lord.. The child!" He seemed suddenly too overwhelmed to speak.

"Someone _EXPLAIN THEMSELVES_!" Severus blared shutting up the blaring Bellatrix and the urgent fearful murmurer around him, Severus's own heart was beating painfully fast in his chest. The child.. Lucius said the child.. did he mean lily's child? Had the dark lord found them? Lucius who always seemed pale now looked positively ill..

"The dark lord found the child," He explained hurriedly. . "Attempted to kill him.. but simply disappeared."

"Attempted?" Severus snapped, heart thudding. Was Lily still alive?

"He used the killing curse.. but the child..." He seemed to be holding a breath of disbelief. "The boy _lived_."


	2. Of Blood and Serpents, Chapter One

_Of Blood And Serpents_

_Part One.  
_

Chapter One._  
_

-_Green eyed Forget-me-not_

The news had hit Severus like a physical blow. Of course it was not the Dark lords falling that shook Severus it was _her_ death that reduced him to trembling in a way that the dark lord could never inspire in him even with fear. It was the trembling of heartbreak.

Lily was dead. Sweet kind lily, whose green eyes sparkled as she smiled and who was intelligent and dazzling.. Only her son had lived... and Severus was at a complete loss and grievance. He found himself in Dumbledore's office at once, and Dumbledore seemed as if he was ready for him.

Severus made a sound like a wounded animal from Dumbledore's armchair. The green eyed child hovered awkwardly and silently as ever in front of the fire place, pallor waxen and eyes weepy as she stared emptily into the crackling flames warming her. She didn't seem to be noticed by the other two.

"I thought you... were going to keep ... her safe."

"Lily and James put there faith in the wrong person.. Much like you Severus, did you not request the Dark Lord spare her?" Severus made no response but his breathing was clearly pained and shallow. "Her boy survives." Dumbledore told him curtly and Severus jerked as If being stung. "The boy lives, he has her eyes, precisely the colour of Lily Evans eyes.. You remember I'm sure the exact colour and shape?"

"DON'T!" He bellowed in anguish, crumpling further into the armrest.. "Gone... dead."

"Is this remorse Severus?"

"I wish... I wish I were dead."

"And what use would that be to anyone?" He said coldly. "If you loved her, If you truly loved Lily Evans your way forward is clear.." Severus seemed for a moment to not understand, the words sinking in without meaning, through his pain he could derive nothing.

"What.. what do you mean?"

"You know how, and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain, Help me protect Lily's son."

"He does not need protection, the dark lord has gone-." Severus murmured slowly, The small child behind him suddenly whimpering, Dumbledore then seemed to notice her and he gazed at her as he spoke.

"-The dark lord will return and when he does Harry potter will be in terrible danger." Severus took control of himself before he spoke. His breathing smoothed, and he seemed to have straightened a little from his slump. "Very well.. Very well. But never- Never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear... especially potters son... I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking away from Severus's anguished and ferocious face. "If you insist..." He nodded dryly again looking at the girl's small still form in front of the fire place. "And the child," Dumbledore began. "The child the dark lord left in your care.. surely upon his return he should expect her to still be with you..." Severus seemed alarmed by that what Dumbledore was beginning to hint at.

"To remain with me? I can hardly care for the girl." He objected and Dumbledore nodded stepping beside the silent unmoving girl.

"Yes I must agree you would be a most inadequate form of parentage for the her." He sighed reluctantly. "But I see no other options."

"But-" Dumbledore cut him off sharply.

"What was Voldemort's last orders to you concerning the girl?" Severus's head drooped.

"He ordered me to keep her until he returns." Dumbledore smiled sadly looking at the young girl beside him.

"And so it must be."

At this the girl looked up sharply, her green eyes regarding him with curious exhaustion.

"Who are you?" she asked, voice unlike it was before, now it was simply childlike and quiet.

"I am Albus Dumbledore, head master of Hogwarts and who, young lady, are you?" upon the question the girl tore her eyes away from Dumbledore's bright blue ones and looked at Severus expression blanking for a moment as if in distant thought. Severus stared back and then after a moment the girl tore her gaze back to Dumbledore.

"Lily, I like the name Lily." She told him, Severus very visibly jerked but Dumbledore simply smiled down at the girl in quiet contemplation.

"It is a very nice name." He agreed nodding his head. "Do you have any objections Lily, in staying with Severus?" They regarded each other unflinchingly, Bright blue eyes kindly and delicate, Green eyes reserved and unsure. Then slowly the girls head turned into a shake and she lowered her gaze back to the flames.

"Very well then."

Lily slept in the castle that night, having fallen asleep in one of Dumbledore's armchairs the two men allowed it. Severus disappeared of course, time was necessary in mourning Dumbledore knew. He too disappeared, as arrangements were being made, the child Harry would be taken to his only living relatives. He would be the safest there, despite the objections he was sure to come across he was absolute in his decision as he went to meet Hagrid.

When the small child woke, the morning broke purple and pink softly, emerging slowly over the hillside. It was as if a shy animal was returning after a long absence and needed to be reintroduced to its master. She sat upright and looked around herself, slightly perplexed by her own surroundings. She was in the office of Albus Dumbledore, a man named Severus had taken her there after... A frown pinched between her brows as she recalled nothing before that moment but instead felt a shadow of discomfort and the feeling that the memories were unhappy. Decidedly pushing the thoughts aside she stood up from the chair and began wandering the room marvelling at the contraptions and gadgets around her.

"I hope I have not kept you waiting long." The voice made her jump and she turned quickly to see who the speaker was. It was the old white bearded man, Dumbledore. They're eyes connected and Lily felt a searching in them that she found uncomfortable so she looked away.

"I just woke up... where is the other one?" She asked quietly, thinking of the man with the black hair parted in the centre and even darker eyes which peered out from beneath.

"Severus," She recognized the name and nodded, remembering that he was the man who brought her here. For some reason she felt unsettled being away from him as if she was supposed to remain with him and she was doing something very terrible by not being with him now. "Severus will return in time, for now I've arranged for you to stay with the groundskeeper Hagrid." She hardly understood anything of what was happening but her stomach gnawed in hunger and she felt no will to ask anything further. Instead she nodded dumbly, careful to avoid the old man Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes.

"May I have some breakfast please?"

Dumbledore smiled at her, though she seemed uncomfortable beneath his gaze he watched her intently before flourishing his wand to summon the child's breakfast on the table beside the arm chair. She sat quietly and ate it, doing her best to ignore Dumbledore who she felt was staring at her all the while. He wasn't of course,but it didn't alter the discomfort the thought gave.

It was around noon that she was finally taken down to the grounds to meet the person whom she'd be living with until Severus 'returned' as Dumbledore said. Lily stood beside Dumbledore, feeling impatient as he knocked three times outside the hovel. Lily glanced around curiously, there was a pumpkin garden and beyond that she could see the front of a thick forest, like an ominous black wall. The door opened and Lily's head snapped up, without thinking she took a step back anxiety passing through her making her mouth go dry as she stared up at the Giant of a man.

"No need to be shy my dear." Dumbledore murmured, nudging her forward. She sent him a aghast glance '_no need to be shy!_' She swallowed realizing Dumbledore was expecting her to introduce herself.

"I'm L-Lily." She muttered staring up at him, and as she did she looked closely to see that the mans cheeks were slightly blotchy, as was his nose red and his eyes teary. He'd been crying. That realization eased Lily making her a little bold. "Are you very sad?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Hagrid gave a breathy chuckle with a sniff.

"Observational little mite eh? Well, better come on in and make yer self at home." He smiled despite the sadness in his eyes. Dumbledore caused Lily to pause momentarily, stopping her with a gentle touch, she turned and looked at him expectantly.

"I trust you'll be on your best behaviour for Hagrid?" He asked her kindly and she had to blink beneath his unrelenting gaze before giving a small nod. He beamed at her over his half moon spectacles and pushed her forward, there was just barely enough room for her to squeeze in beside the half giant named Hagrid. Just as Dumbledore turned to leave he paused looking back.

"Be sure Rubeus not to accidentally give the girl Fire whiskey." He added with a small chuckle before continuing on his way. Shifting back into the small home Lily wondered what Fire whiskey was as she idly began exploring her surroundings.

.

.

Weeks passed since the child had been left with Hagrid, a situation which was quite agreeable to Severus, if only she would _remain _there he would not have thought twice of her. That was not to be though, Severus would be taking her for the Christmas holiday's which were approaching then later, the summer holidays. As the days and weeks stretched, and crept closer to Christmas his disposition did not lighten, rather it grew considerably worse. Though it may have been a mixture of reasons why.

Lily was dead, and her death haunted his very soul. it did not comfort him to know that Sirius Black would remain in Azkaban until he died, though it wholly shocked him to find that _Sirius _was the traitor. It made his hatred for him stretch even further into his soul than his hatred for Potter reached.

That of course and the death eater trials began in the early days of December and though he was under Dumbledores protection it merely kept him from Azkaban. It did not stop him from being required within the trials, and so he was force through the wholly exhausting endevors of recounting his days as the Dark Lords servant and Lucius' Malfoy's underling.

Severus by that time was a little worse for wear and not just visually. He was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. He had no one to confide in, though Severus never really had anyone since Lily anyways, he now couldn't even bear to bring her to mind. The only thing that relieved him was his occupying days at Hogwarts. Finding he actually quite enjoyed being a Professor, the title suiting him nicely.

His general demeanour scaring the brats into being obedient little potion makers, not to mention the rumors of his death eater involvement circling the school. As much as he enjoyed the distractions of his classroom his thoughts would eventually fill with the coming Christmas where he would be forced into taking the dreadful child that bore Lily's name and such deep green eyes that made him hate her all the more.

Now though, he was off on a little excursion to his own home to prepare for the child's coming. He met Dumbledore at his office, promptly on a Saturday morning to ready the details of her stay and used Dumbledore's fireplace to floo to his home. It was a private floo network that Dumbledore had set up between them which had allowed Severus to travel very efficiently between.

His home, his childhood home, the sad and dreary place was as stagnant as ever. His eyes wandered the small sitting room and stepped into the murky grey lighting that was a constant attribute to the industrialized spinners end. He had not been in the room since he'd last left with the child and the air still felt heavy as if the dark lord had just swept out of the room. Shaking the feeling away Severus traced his way up the dusty staircase to a room he had not entered since he was seventeen, how was it that it had only been four years since his time at Hogwarts, and only two since he received the mark from the dark lord?

It seemed impossible as Severus stood at the threshold of a room which had served as his hide away as a boy, as his place of silence in a home he could barely stand. The scores of restless days and horrors the walls remembered when Severus refused to. With a sigh he entered the dusty room, the bed, its rusted gold frame sitting in the middle of the room, the sheets and bedding long overdue to be cleaned, the shelves around it stacked with ancient old school books waiting to be tucked away.

He worked as quickly as he could, using his wand to gather the books into a box neatly along with all the scraps of parchment, old ink and empty bottles. He paid no attention to the covers, not even noticing when a small old black bound book appeared from being carefully hidden away in the back. He was too busy wanting to get everything done to care.

He stripped the bedding and charmed a broom to the task of sweeping while he magically dusted, the sheer amount residue being tossed into the air forcing him to open the window letting the chilly outside air into the stagnant old house.

Once the bedding was laid back down he set to the task of his old bathroom giving it a brief magical clean with a flick of his wand, removing the soap scum from the shower and replacing the bar of soap as well as the hand soap with a new one and setting the fresh towels beneath the sink for the child's future use.

Though he tried not to think about it, for thinking about the little intruder staying in his old room would do nothing for his sour mood, he did anyways. Wishing he could clean his thoughts as easily as he could the dust from the air with his wand Severus struggled to finish the task, pacing the room wondering what else he could possibly do.

The day eventually began growing dimmer, or at least the clouds were thickening and obscuring the light in the room so that it was grey and shadowed and Severus's eyes fell on the side table where there was no candles to be found. She would need one if the day was to grow dim as it was now. He left briefly to retrieve an old candle and set it on the bedside table with matches. Looking around the room and finding it satisfactory he jerked the closet doors open with his wand and flicked the box containing his old school books inside to a corner before snapping the doors shut behind him.

.

.

The forest was silent in the morning as it always was and the air was sharp with the winter. Rustling and crackling broke the serene cold silence of the morning as Hagrid made his way through the forbidden forest on a casual stroll which he made frequently. Lily was in the cottage eating breakfast which the house elf's of Hogwarts made a point of bringing every day along with the two other main meals for the girl.

She was beginning to become listless and irritable in the cottage which she'd been virtually confined to since her arrival. Only being privy to the garden hutch and some of the other cold desolate grounds she was not to go out when Hagrid was away, which was often in his work. The great man pondered the situation as he walked, his black eyes distant with it as he distractedly made his way down the trail he knew so well that he needn't have looked up from his thoughts at all to find his way. He was considering asking Dumbledore if he'd let the girl come with in on trips into the Dark forest where she could help him with some of menial tasks to keep her occupied. It seemed like a fine idea to Hagrid, who, though his intentions were good in essence he lacked the foresight to realize that it would also be reckless and dangerous request.

A small cry gave him pause and took him from his thoughts and stopped the quiet and gruff hum beneath his breath as he gave pause to listen again. After a moment of silence other than the brittle rustlings of the dried leaves on the ground he heard the cry again. The sound was faint on the wind but sharp enough to leave the impression of desperation in Hagrid's well trained ear.

The thought never occurred to Hagrid to ignore the sound and continue along the silent path, very simply because that was not Hagrid's way. Instead he followed the small little cries to their source, what looked like a fox den where the cries emerged from. Getting down on his belly Hagrid brushed back his wild hair to see into the hole where the cries so desperately came.

"Oh, will you look at tha'" Hagrid stared into the little dark cave that was nearly perfectly black but the three sets of wide glowing eyes from within.

.

.

"Ha-grid!" Lily called impatiently towards the forest, her arms crossed around her chest to keep the cold from seeping in. Hagrid had returned home from his morning walk with a gleam in his eye and had told her he had found something to keep her occupied through the long winter days. He left soon after that with a basket without so much as hinting at what it could be. Normally full of quiet focus Lily had been reduced to fits of impatience and spells of listlessness from the seemingly eternal weeks she had lived with Hagrid.

"Alrigh', alrigh'! Hold yer hippogriff's now, I'm comin'." Hagrid's voice boomed from the cusp of the forest and Lily huffed, scuffing her foot at the ground feeling her impatience was justified. Hagrid emerged from the forest, his great shaggy head was slightly tangled and had a few sticks poking out of it, he held something as well, a large basket which he half rested against his large belly. Her eyes instantly fell to it and her curiosity deepened. She could see something moving in the basket and though she hadn't really guessed it was going to be anything in particular, to see something was alive and moving in the basket surprised her.

"Come on, best we move on inside now." He said gently waving her towards the house, relenting Lily waited impatiently for him on the step before ducking in, holding the door open for him. The house was warm and cozy in comparison to the chill autumn outside, setting the basket on the table Hagrid took his time taking off his great furry coat and getting himself a mug of brandy to warm his bones. Lily knelt on a chair in order to peer into the basket and blinked in surprise at what she saw.

"What are they?" she asked, staring at the slightly ugly, yet similarly quite cute (in a gangly way) creatures. There were three of them, all small and slightly malformed looking with extremely large ears and eyes that were wide and staring. She supposed they were catlike, or rather kittens, with large messy spots and awkward tufts of fur. A pair of Silver, Blue and Gold eyes stared at her without so much as moving or even mewling as most kittens did.

"These li'l brutes are called kneazles." Hagrid told her after a warming gulp of his favourite brandy before putting a kettle of water on the fire for Lily who had taken a fond liking to the special tea Hagrid received from the Herbology professor. "Its unusual having kits near winter, these little mites mum must have passed.. They'll be needen nursing, If yer willing." He finished and she let a smile slip at the request. Smiling was not something Lily did often but the prospect of actually having an activity to keep her occupied lured the smile out, and her eyes glowed excitedly as she looked at Hagrid.

"How?"

Hagrid taught her the basics of nursing the kits and gave her a bottle to hand feed them. Simple in theory, the kits were actually quite wild and Lily was soon covered in tiny kitten scratches from their struggling. Dumbledore (for the similar blue eyes shared with a certain old man) was the most resistant of the kits, hissing and scratching he was nearly impossible to feed. The the other, Bee golden eyed as he was, often nipped her, the sensation not unlike a bee sting. The last kit was the runt of the litter and had pretty silver eyes and a frail little body. She named him Mooney. He died the next morning and Lily buried her in the vegetable patch, sad that she couldn't have done more for the runt, though she wasn't about to give up nursing the other two.

It was near the end of November when Lily took the kits on as her full time project, by the time December rolled in to near the middle of the month it brought silent blankets of snow with it and dry icy air. The kits had grown fat by that time, both had become moderately tame and now left the basket to explore Hagrid's cottage as Lily had done nearly two months before.

The bitter cold winter outside was still save a few icy gushes of air which moaned against the window and the door of the cottage as Dumbledore came to Hagrid's door his beard blowing softly on the cold breeze as his robes rustled against the ground. Lily was laying on Hagrid's couch, grazing through one of Hagrid's creature manuals that she had finished reading some time ago, the knock bringing her sharply back to the present, the sound almost alarming her as she was beginning to grow used to the near silent winter days when Hagrid was out gathering Christmas decorations for the school.

As she opened the door a wicked cold breeze licked her arms and her cheeks which where pink with the warmth of the hearth inside, the brutal cold biting into her skin sending chills down her spine. Dumbledore stood outside the door, his robes long and white with silk lavender trimmings and red embellishments on his sleeves, around his beard a cord was wrapped hanging several silver and blue baubles. The beard itself was long enough to reach his knee's though Lily didn't notice as her gaze was immediately drawn upwards to his penetrating blue eyes that weren't unlike the kits in the next room.

"Are you here for Hagrid?" She asked even though she felt the faintest premonition that he wasn't here for Hagrid but was in fact here for her. She wasn't wrong.

"No my dear, but I think that the chilly winter air begs to reason that this conversation would be much better held beside a warm fire and perhaps with a mug of Hagrid's brandy." the skin around his eyes crinkled in playful mirth which made Lily embarrassed about the rude lapse. She stepped back from the door quickly to usher the Headmaster in and left him to stem the icy brutish wind by closing the door behind him while Lily stood upon a chair to reach Hagrid's mugs and his Brandy. Gathering the two (very large) items in her arms she dropped back down and uncorked the brandy's lid, finding it necessary to use both of her arms to heft the bottle up to pour it into the glass.

"Thank you my dear." Dumbledore said as she offered him the glass and resumed her seat on the couch, picking up the kit Bee and putting it on her lap to stroke it. Dumbledore looked at the kit with an astute look in his eye. "That, if I am not mistaken, is a kneazle is it not?" Lily nodded, patting the drowsy golden eyed creature which curled easily on her lap. "I have it from several wizards that they make extraordinary pets. They are quite intelligent creatures and are known to be incredibly perceptive.." His eyes seemed to catch a the book she was reading which still lay open beside her lap and he smiled seeming pleased at the sight of it. "Are you very interesting the the care of magical creatures?" Lily shook her head, her black hair tickling her cheeks.

"I like to read, Hagrid doesn't have any other books."

"Ah," Dumbledore's blue eyes sparkled over the half moon glasses. "I too have a great love of books, as does Severus." Very smoothly Dumbledore had coerced the conversation towards the potions master, very quickly Lily understood why the headmaster had come.

"You've come to take me to Severus's." She said and the old man nodded.

"Today the students are returning to their homes for Christmas holiday's, as is arranged you will return home with Severus for the holiday period." Lily frowned slightly an odd feeling pinching her chest at realizing she would be leaving Hagrids.

"For how long?"

"Sixteen days." It seemed like a terribly long time to be away, Lily found herself looking at the kit on her lap wondering if they'd do well without her, though she supposed Hagrid would be able to take care of them.

"Am I to go now?" She asked looking up, the warm flames crackling beside her in the fireplace no longer seemed as warm.

"As soon as your ready, Severus will be awaiting our arrival in my office." Lily felt a pang in her gut but nodded obediently.

.

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	3. Of Blood and Serpents, Chapter Two

_Of Blood and Serpents_

_Part One.  
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Chapter Two.

-_Un-Welcome Home_

To say that the death of Lily Evans (as she would always remain in his mind) was a blow to Severus would be a severe understatement to the emotional upheaval he was suffering. To make matters indefinitely worse he was equally charged with becoming _the child's_ guardian, an agreement which he both loathed and detested agreeing to in the first place.

The thought of having _it _in his home, expecting him to call her a name which she desecrated in assuming caused resentment to boil unabated in Severus's blood the more he thought of it in the upcoming days of the holiday. And, although Dumbledore had not assumed to make any guesses at the child's true heritage Severus was aware, as well as he knew Dumbledore too was aware, that the only reasonable explanation of why she was in the dark lords possession, and why she was important enough to be cared for by Severus, was that she was _his_ child.

It was not unreasonable to imagine, considering much of the Dark Lord's life was a mystery even to Dumbledore, that he founded a bastard child. Though, as Dumbledore said, it did not truly matter, the child needed a home, and Severus, the ever loyal traitor would preform the services. Severus loathed the task like no other Dumbledore had set for him and would just as begrudgingly complete it.

He waited in Dumbledore's Office now, Dumbledore wasting Severus's time as he usually did. This of course was not quite true, but Severus was in a grudging mood with weight of many things laid on his mind making him pessimistic. He heard the stone statue rising carrying, he could only assume, the headmaster and the bastard child along with him.

"Severus," Dumbledore's ever amused tone wore on Severus nerves as he entered, the child in tow behind him remaining quiet and obscure behind Dumbledore's flowing white robes. "I hope you have not been waiting long?" He inquired as he observantly caught Severus flare of annoyance and over all bad temper from the reflected depths of his black eyes.

"Not long." He replied in a dismal tone. His pale hands clasped behind his back as his eyes lowered to the child hovering beside Dumbledore, now less obscured by their proximity. In a flash her green eyes caught his and agony welled in Severus, for in an instant he had seemed to be looking in Lily's eyes.

The sudden revulsion and resentment that ran to clam up the small flash of his pained soul must have reflected clearly in his black orbs, for the child's eyes widened fractionally, then fearfully snapped away from his to the floor as if scolded. Severus raised his head to Dumbledore, his mouth twisting contemptuously, Dumbledore would be much aware of Severus's displeasure of the task as he could make the man. Instead of acknowledging the look he smiled ever politely, only Severus knowing the true depths of cunning and wisdom as well as contempt that seemed to hide easily behind Albus's mask of pleasantry's

"Very good, now if you are both quite ready?" There was neither objections, nor agreements to this remark and Dumbledore left the child's side to retrieve their mode of transportation for the day. Floo powder.

As he set himself to collecting the jar, the child turned her head seeming to stare distractedly lost in thought towards the fire place. As Severus remembered the last she'd been there he grimaced, wondering how much the child had overheard of his shameful collapse. A few moments later the two were standing in the fireplace, green flames licking their feet as Severus barked the location.

In moments they were transported to his cramped living room, murky light making the room seem grey as it shone through his black curtains. Severus had been home since the last time the child had been there, he was forced, after all to arrange for her stay with him. Though he was sorely tempted to have her live in the staircase cupboard, he knew that Dumbledore would most likely know, and besides he'd already taken the effort to clean out his own room previously.

As soon as they stepped into the room he saw the girls eyes fly to the wall of books with hopeful yearning which Severus immediately found necessary to snuff out.

"You are not to touch anything without my permission, nor are you to rummage through any room save your own, and the bathroom. Am..clear?" Her eyes rose to his fleetingly disappointment and anxiousness stamped clear in her green eyes which quickly flicked back to the floor. She nodded mutely in response which Severus found satisfactory enough and continued, his voice clipped and cold.

"Your room is upstairs, the first door to the left. I assume you can follow simple directions without needed a guide?" He asked contemptuously, the mute child giving a nod without looking at him seeming eager to escape his presence which she did promptly afterwards leaving Severus standing alone in his living room as she scampered up the creaking stairs.

Severus turned his scorn to the murky light exuded from the window and snapped the curtain shut with a flick of his wand leaving Severus in the cool small darkness of his living room.

He _hated_ her. She had never seen someone look at her with so much resentment and malevolence he had for her and she couldn't help but cower beneath his intense black gaze, let alone keep herself from bursting into tears. As soon as she'd ran up the creaky old wooden stair case and reached her room she'd curled up on the bed, any curiosities stemmed by the tears which were suddenly pushing their way from her eyes. She had been almost excited to see some many books but he had been so mean that now Lily was certain she would never have the opportunity to read them. In a wave of childish hurt a deep ache sprung in her chest for Hagrid and the comforts of his hut.

The place was cold and stagnant with age and neglect, Hagrid's had been warm and alive with the earthy smell of forest that his work brought. As Lily curled to her side on the worn looking sheets on the bed she squeezed her eyes shut and shook silently as she cried, desperately biting her lip as she sobbed muffling herself by burying her head into the musty smelling sheets. For the first time that she remembered Lily felt terribly alone.

She remained in her room for a long while, simply laying on the old bed at first before she finally rummaged enough energy to start poking about in her room. She hadn't had a room in Hagrid's and had simply slept on his couch by the fire instead. The idea of having a room all to her self was quite appealing though, given that at least she would have the option to hide away here again when Severus was mean to her.

Rubbing the stiff tears from her cheeks she walked around the room. It wasn't that big, but it wasn't a closet either. The bed was in the middle of the room, a worn old single bed with gold paint chipping off of the old rusted metal frame, the blankets themselves were a thick patchwork quilt with little embroidered images of snakes and what looked like a family crest Lily didn't recognize. Another blanket lay folded over the bottom of the bed, it was lighter and knitted with green and silver.

To the left of the rusted metal bed was a simple bedside table with a drawer and a runny old candle with matches beside. There were three doors in the room, one was the one which she'd entered, the other on the left wall of that door were the closet doors and the last door was on the right wall of the room. She walked to it and turned the handle, the door groaning in protest as she opened the door to see a small personal bathroom. Lily was quite pleased seeing it, Hagrid's bathroom being an outhouse a little further away from his cottage than was comfortable to walk on a snowy day. Having a bathroom of her own cheered Lily considerably and she found herself forgetting to dread dinner with Severus as she fixed herself a warm bath.

The taps on the bath were fiddly but she managed to draw a hot stream from it, stripping off her robes and slipping into the hot water. Using the simple bar of soap provided she washed her hair, working through the long black strands and pulling through the knots until her hair was slick and smooth down her back. She stayed in the bath a long while enjoying feeling clean and warmth, disliking the thought of having to leave the perfect warm bubble she created for herself.

She did however, pulling herself from the tub when the light from the tiny dingy bathroom window began getting duller and her stomach started twinging in hunger. She emptied the bath and dried herself with a towel that was available beneath the sink, walking out into the room towards the closet, half curious to see if some of her clothes would be there. She was surprised to see that they were as well as a few obvious hand me down robes that were added to the collection. Quietly she slipped the robes on, noting the unfamiliar smell that wafted from them when there was a tap on her door..

Severus briefly told her dinner was ready and he expected her downstairs promptly. Her feelings of warmth and comfort left her once she'd been confronted by Severus again she again began to dread being in his presence.

Dinner was short and silent an Lily was relieved Severus didn't find any need to speak to her and hardly acknowledged her presence at all for the small duration they were forced onto each others company. Severus only spoke once, and it was as she was leaving to go back up to her room.

"Curfew is Seven, I don't expect you to leave your room afterwards." He said shortly and she gave a small timid nod to acknowledge it before scurrying back upstairs to her room, closing the door behind her and revelling in her privacy.

Once again secluded Lily finished snooping around in the bathroom, finding that the sink leaked leaving a small puddle in front of it when the faucet was used and the hot water tap was stiff and difficult to turn without much effort. The medicine cupboard behind the mirror was similarly stiff and difficult to pull open with out a good tug. Behind the glass she found a new tooth brush and tube of toothpaste just for her.

Lily brushed her teeth and left the bathroom finding nothing but a few fat black spiders under the sink along with her towels and some cleaning materials. Wandering back into the bedroom she drifted over to the closet opening it and glancing over the black robes with little interest as she pushed them aside to dive further back into the closet. She found a box and brushing the spiders off she felt a tingle of curious excitement zip through her as she sat, about to open the dusty cardboard folds.

She stopped, her hands pausing before she tugged the folds open her green eyes becoming reserved. It was very possible that this one box could contain her only source of amusement during the summer and she realized that maybe she should keep it a mystery as long as she could. With a sigh and a small sneeze from the rustled dust that went about the room as she shoved the box back in its place and closed the closet door, sighing quietly and shifting out of her robes until she was in her knickers and crawled into bed, she wasn't tired but she hoped sleep could ease the penetrating boredom and restlessness which stretched through her along with the ache warm fires and feisty mewling kits. Slowly, as she lay still long enough Lily fell into a restless slumber.

Her eyes opened to black, the darkness so complete she had to blink to realize her eyes were indeed open. Her heart contracted in her chest the blanket feeling heavy and constricting above her, like a lead weight holding her to the bed. That feeling of constriction wasn't why she woke though, and for a moment she wondered if she was indeed awake, but the cold brushing against her cheeks and the stifling warmth of the blanket were to real to believe she was dreaming.

No, she remembered the vague outline of a dream she couldn't remember if it had been a good dream or a bad one but she remembered something calling... crying. A the sound of an agonized wail made her stiffen in fear beneath the covers, in the darkness the sound could have come from anywhere. She imagined monsters writhing from the darkness reaching out for her with long boned white fingers...

_"**Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh**!"_

The house seemed too shudder with it, as if it understood the pain carried on the tone. Lily carefully opened her eyes which she hadn't realized in the moment to have squeezed shut. The sound wasn't coming from her room, she felt with reasonable relief, the noise seeming too muffled to be so close. Even as she attempted to comfort herself with that thought another guttural sound of agony echoed and she cringed, for some reason the sound bringing hot fresh tears to her own eyes as she drew the pillow around her ears, the sounds of her sobbing only muffled by the monsters own cry through the house.

In the room across, Severus thrashed in sleep, plagued by nightmares of green eyes and harsh laughter.

In the morning both looked similarly ghostly as they moved about each other in silence and ignorance, each wrapped in their own clouded groggy thoughts as they went about eating breakfast, Severus drifting into the living room while Lily found herself in front of the back door. A tingle of awareness travelling through her she raised her hand to the door knob and turned the brass handle the door making an auditory groan as it swung open, a wave of fresh brittle winter air attacking her cheeks pink and sent a pleasurable chill down her spine.

Lily took a deep breath, an odd smell tainting the air which she ignored, her eyes stinging as they adjusted to the brightness. Blinking and shutting the door behind her she examined the small garden in front of her, the ground cold and hard at the base of the steps. It appeared as if there used to be a small garden at work but the winters long bitter cold breath seemed to have swept the life from the plants leaving the remaining stalks brown and dead, the rest of the small garden similarly dead.

Taking a seat at the bottom of the stairs and watching her breath come out in smoke Lily decided she actually quite liked the cold as it settled into her bones. She remained there revelling in the silence and the cold until her legs became stiff and her bum began to ache from sitting too long and she finally stood and drifted back inside.

She managed to keep herself from opening the mysterious box in the closet for two days before she finally caved in, tired of restless days of wasting away on her bed or staring longingly at books she was too afraid to touch without permission. Pulling the box out she sat with it between her legs and pulled open the flaps to look inside. Her stomach did an odd flip as she reached inside.

Carefully she brought into her faded bedroom light an old school book. Her heart gave a little thrill and she was almost so eager as to crack open the ancient worn pages and to sneak a peek but she stopped herself and reached again into the box.

To her it contained small treasures, old school texts as well as broken quills and ink pots... then something else, buried at the very bottom, a book which was nearly falling apart by the spine, it was worn grey and had no labelling on it, no writing at all. She set it aside with the other books, pushing away the decidedly empty box to wonder at the amazingly delicious contents.

Her days having been so starved of occupation she may have collapsed from the burn of excitement in her chest. She swallowed it tremulously as she grazed over the books her hand oddly drawn to the grey ancient thing which she pulled out last and took it carefully onto her lap and gently opened. Inside lay a flurry of cramped writing on the yellow and cracked parchment, her hair draping around her as she bent closer to scrutinize the words Lily began to read.

_January 9__th__ 1969_

_ 'Father was kinder today, I can only imagine it was because today is my ninth birthday and my mother may have begged. Mother gave me this journal, supposedly it helps muggles feel better or something, she doesn't want me to accidentally throw another magical fit I think because father might not act as kindly to the next accident...I think this idea is..'_ The writing seemed to hesitate before he messily continued with the next word,' _Stupid, I'm not a muggle I'm a wizard whether mother and father want to admit it or not and no muggle father of mine is going to stomp it out of me.'_

Lily didn't hesitate to turn to the next entry and read on hungrily.

_January 13__th__ 1969_

_ I managed to get out of the house before father noticed and wandered until I found myself at the park, two girls were playing there so I left again and went to wander down the river, its easier to ignore the stink when your so used to it. I think I might have seen a gnome but I can't be sure, it was getting dark and I didn't want to give father a reason to get angry. Managed to slip back inside the house again for dinner and went to bed. For the past two weeks or so I've been planning to sneak out of my bed and take some of mothers books with out her noticing. Last week I nicked her wand and managed a silencing spell on the centre boards of my floor leading to the door and I can easily hopscotch the silent boards to the downstairs. I think if I'm careful enough I can sneak a book without her and father noticing and without waking up. I know father wont hesitate to beat me if he finds out I've been sneaking around the house and mother won't feel much different but I don't care._

She hesitated at the end of the short jotted entry an idea inspiring in her own mind, fiddling with the cuff of her robes she shut the book and with a little thought pushed it beneath the bed, nooking it beside the end table, the other books she piled back inside the box and carefully shoved back as she stood studying the floor. Her ears attentive to the sounds beneath her she began to carefully map out the floor with her feet.

That night the sounds came again, but this time Lily was expecting them. The cries having echoed through the house nearly every night of her stay and in there familiarity no longer caused paralysing fear in her. She decided to practice walking down the stairs at night, thinking to have figured it out during the rest of the day she slept almost impatiently until the noises started.

She decided she would go after the noises stopped, just in case there really _was_ something out there she didn't want to bump into and cause a stir. She certainly didn't want to get caught, she hadn't thought anything near of a fail safe excuse to get her out of trouble if she happened to get caught, so it simply wasn't an option. Carefully easing herself upright in bed she slipped out from beneath the heavy covers and stood up on her tip toes, sliding her feet carefully over the floor where once long ago a boy placed a silencing spell.

She hadn't actually taken the time to wonder who the boy was, he didn't sign his name after the entries but she supposed the boy had lived in the house before Severus ever did. It made enough sense to her at least and satisfied her without an actual explanation, it didn't really seem important anyways who the boy was, only that he was helping her get what she wanted.

By the time she reached the door and carefully opened it her heart was making quick tattoo against her ribcage forcing her to swallow and take a few breaths so she could keep a clear head. The hall was black and she stretched her eyes wider hopefully as if it would actually help her see. It was useless though and she hesitated before taking her first blind step out into the hall. The floor groaned and she nearly reeled back her heart lodging itself in her throat the simple squeak seeming to scream into the silence of the house.

Terrified but also flushed with determination she cursed herself realizing she'd forgotten to slip her foot further to the right of the board as she practised earlier that day. Summoning her daring and holding onto the doorway still she carefully stepped her other foot ahead. Her eyes closed with concentration she let her foot hover until she found the proper place and gently eased her weight onto it...

A wave of relief crashed over her and she released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. A smile tickling the corners of her mouth she carefully found herself treading down the stairs until she stood at the threshold of the living room. She stopped, hesitating before going any further.

She had only planned on going thus far but she was so close... she could smell the musty spines of books, _feel_ the age old parchment rough beneath her small sensitive fingertips. It would be easy to slip in and just take one now, but something drew her back, a tugging sensation of warning to wait. Letting a small mournful sigh escape her she retraced her steps back to her bedroom, silently closing the door behind her.

Satisfaction rolled through her as she tucked herself back into her bed, her heart giving steady quiet thumps of triumph in her chest as she closed her eyes and curled to her side to fall back asleep.

Severus was not sleeping well. Not well at all and worse still he found himself prone to nightmares, because of this he decided to brew himself sleeping draughts that may help ease him into a more peaceful slumber. The girl, _Lillian_ (as he slowly began to refer to her in his mind) was resentfully unobtrusive, so much so that he found himself ignoring her completely. It was infuriating how easily she worked her way around him so tentative and careful not to step on his toes, so to speak that confronting her was an arduous task in itself.

Which was all the more frustrating because truth be told Severus _wanted_ something to exert his energy on. Something to relieve that sickness which haunted him as he slept and made him restless during the days that he found it difficult to mark the students assignments and to concentrate long enough on a book.

Of course he would never admit or acknowledge that he wanted to cause the girl pain, though the feeling was there it consciously registered as resentment towards the task, the girls frustratingly careful avoidance of him and her not showing the least bit of gratitude for his extended hospitality. His feelings of utter loathing and resentment resurfaced every time he caught a glimpse of the girl, which was mostly only at meal times when they were truly forced together, it was really the other times, when he would catch glimpses of her scuttling around which he began to feel curious as to what she was doing in her spare time.

He knew from his own experience that there was little to do in the house, having grown up there himself. His curiosity was short lived and he made an effort to snuff out the last of it as the holiday dwindled by. He preferred to only acknowledge the girl when necessary and to loath her from afar.

It was in this same disposition that the holiday ended and Lily was finally returned to Dumbledore, Severus unknowing that his preferred ignorance and distance was giving the child an unprecedented experience and a form of learning in its own. Lily had learned much in her time with Severus, she learned that silence was not always comfortable, That what Severus didn't know wouldn't hurt _her_, and that she was almost ruthless in seeking to slake her curiosities.

She managed, in the time with Severus, read her way through the dusty old school tomes and to successfully steal a fascinating herbology book specifying numerous plants and she spent much of the rest of her holiday copying the information from the thick old text onto the spare parchment she found with the schooling scraps, having some loose idea forming in her mind concerning the forbidden forest.

It was slightly uncomfortable on the day of departure when her and Severus were in suddenly close proximity arranging to leave. Lily was a little distressed, trying to figure how to take her rolls of parchiment and the little diary which she found comfort in reading, discreetly with her. She had not taken anything to Severus's and she didn't want to call attention by bringing anything back.

She managed through, relief flooding through her as she found the baggiest robe she could in the closet which she could tuck the important items into. Severus was waiting impatiently at the bottom of the stairs which she (almost habitually) threaded silently down to meet him upon. Dark green eyes met black ones for a pregnant moment before she averted her gaze cringing.

"Ready now are we?" He drawled with an annoyed edge as if she'd kept him waiting for long. Had she been downstairs waiting for _him_ Lily knew he'd probably have some other snarky remark to make her feel like the weighty burden she was to him. She said nothing as she walked with him to the fireplace, becoming stiff as the fireplace unnaturally stretched and Severus entered it beside her, their proximity making the hairs on her neck prickle.

Closing her eyes against the green licking flames the eeiry dusty silence of Severus home was suddenly replaced by soft ticking's and the quiet murmurs of the paintings of dead headmasters that filled Dumbledore's office. Blinking she stepped out into the brightly lit room feeling almost disoriented and misplaced in this familiar, yet similarly _unfamiliar_ place.

She felt as if it had been eons ago that she first left Dumbledore's office to go with Severus, and now that she was returned she felt different, the place _itself_ felt different to her. Other than the small garden outside Lily had not ventured from Severus's house, too timid to ask if she was allowed. The sudden dramatic change of scenery sent her off kilter and blinking as she coped with the queer discomfort of it.

"Ah good morning Severus, Lily." Dumbledore rose from his great oak desk to greet them his eyes falling to Lily, a concern that was invisible to both in the depths of his intelligent blue eyes as he looked at the terribly stark child before him. Before leaving with Severus she had been quiet, reserved, slightly pale with intelligent pale green eyes which reflected her deep childlike curiosity.

Now she stood, seemingly skinnier than when she had left, her hair which was normally black and glossy, greasy and lank, and those pretty green eyes which held the potential for great knowledge and kindness were withdrawn. Dark green, wary and slightly skittish he could see the flicker of animalistic nervousness which had not been there before. "You may leave now Severus, I will accompany our young friend to her destination." Albus announced, relieving Severus of the task.

"Very well Headmaster." He replied shortly, all to eager to resume his post at the school, finally having something other than nightmares to dwell on, on empty days. Lily watched his black back disappear, her throat oddly tightening as they flicked back to Dumbledore, hesitantly she opened her mouth to speak.

"Why does he hate me so much?" It felt almost unnatural to speak, her voice cracking due to its disuse. She had hardly realized it but she had gone virtually a week without using her voice, that fact going completely unnoticed by her and Severus. His look was that of sad sympathy as he regarded the child in front of him. Rebelling against the urge to look away she held Dumbledore's bright blue gaze, a part of her insides almost crying out for the answer.

"Why, I don't believe he hates you at all my dear." He knelt in front of her bringing himself nearly to her eye level, sincerity and kindness exuding from him eyes as he spoke.

"You see, Severus is very much grieving, and in his grief he sees you as his punishment. His punishment for all the mistakes he's made, mistakes he deeply regrets making. What you must understand my dear is that when he looks at you, he does not see you as you are, but instead as all the terrible things he's come to regret." He explained holding her green eyes steadily, the back of her eyes prickled and while her chest seemed to constrict with sudden despair she also felt relief curled deep in the pit of her stomach, she was home for now, and would not have to see Severus for a long time.

"Can I make it better?" She asked hopefully rubbing her aching eyes. Dumbledore shook his head.

"I think its best to hope that, given enough time he will come to terms with his grief." It wasn't the answer she'd been looking for but it was honest so she swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, and then quietly accepted the old withered hand that Dumbledore offered her and she let herself be led from his office back to Hagrid's cottage.

Just as stepping back into Dumbledore's office had felt oddly surreal so did returning to the hovel. Hagrid opened the door and beamed at her, pleased to have her back and ushered her inside, Dumbledore politely refusing a cup of brandy while Lily slipped past him into his living room. She stood in the middle, oddly taken aback on how much the _same_ everything was since she had left.

Yet in _her_ the change was stark and she realized she would have to once again reacquaint herself with this suddenly _new_ old home. As she stood silently there, her gaze travelling from the wall to the ceiling she didn't notice the flash of spotted yellowish fur but nearly jumped, startled when something brushed her leg. As she looked down Golden eyes stared up at her and a bundle of tightly restrained emotions hit her in a rush and she found her self sitting where she had stood moments before hugging the creature against her chest as silent tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Looks like some'un's as happy yer back as I am." Hagrid chuckled, Lily's hair obscuring her tears from him he only saw the kit patiently and calmly allowing itself to be stroked and cuddled. Swallowing the lump in her throat and feeling relief the shedding of tears brought her she quickly rubbed the remains of the tears away with the back of her robes and released the small animal, standing up and allowing herself to be taken by an unusual urge. Barely able to extend her arms over Hagrids great belly she gave him an earnest hug, her heart filled with painful gratitude. She looked up as she pulled away to a beaming Hagrid.

"I'll take that as yah missed me too eh?" He chuckled patting the top of her head gingerly. "Now how bout a little breakfast hm?"

Severus was relieved when the task of taking Lillian to the Half giants was taken by Dumbledore. He was not in a particularly good mood (was he ever?) and he wished to recline in his own space to brood about the mornings news. This morning Lucius Malfoy had been released from Azkaban, having gained the one way ticket 'out' by convincing the members of wizengamot that he had been only following the Dark Lords orders under the imperious curse. How he even convinced the court of _that_ was a complete mystery to Severus, though he was sure it involved quite a bit of gold and a few underhanded threats of curses.

For, though Lucius's wife _looked_ lovely and soft he knew Narcissia was a Slytherin woman through and through, not to mention the mother of a one year old. A mother witch who knew the dark arts well enough was _not_ to be taken lightly. He was sure Lucius would find a renewed love in his wife now that he was released from the hellish Azkaban, but he only had just began to wonder what Lucius would do when he found out about Severus. As his once faithful underling he had spent the majority of working for the Dark lord through Lucius.

He suspected Lucius would do nothing in regard to it, Lucius as many Slytherin's were was self serving and ambitious. If it was one thing that Slytherin's generally understood about their friends, it was not to take the covering of one's own skin personally. He only hoped Lucius would take the Slytherin perspective of it and look no further into the little matter of the _gift_ the dark lord left him before his departure.

Yes the child, Lucius had been one of the two to witness her delivery to him, the Lestrange woman being the other. He dared not think of the struggle that may ensue if Lucius came looking for the child, as curious of her origins as he denied himself to be. Ending that train of thought Severus summoned himself some Elf wine from the kitchen and sunk himself deeper into his arm chair, letting his hair shadow his face as he tried desperately to keep his thoughts away from the woman with autumn red hair and sparkling green eyes.

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	4. Of Blood and Serpents, Chapter Three

_Of Blood and Serpents_

Part One.

Chapter Three.

-_The Long Suffering_

The weeks after Christmas holidays passed unmercifully quickly for Lily whose kindling idea to start exploring the forbidden forest grew with the swiftness of a weed in her thoughts and by the time February was half through she had grown daring enough to begin to follow Bee, her now constant companion and only confidant through the forest. Sometimes even visiting the kit which had been missing since her arrival back at Hagrid's Dumbledore, seemed to have returned to his wild roots unlike his sister.

Bee seemed to know the forest like the back of her paw and in no time Lily began recognizing the barren cold trees, simultaneously gathering bits of information from Hagrid on the dangerous places with in the forest. One place lily found her self in often, a small clearing which she could see the white cloudy sky through. It was there that she decided she would begin something of her own garden when the weather warmed.

The forest was so incredibly still, the wind broken by the trees Lily found herself wandering for hours forgetting the time because there simply was no time in the forest. So she'd walk until her fingers grew numb and her nose began to run, her cheeks becoming pink in the cold until Bee danced around her ankles and mewled in hunger. It was only then that Lily would note her own hunger and begin travelling back.

If Hagrid were aware of her pastime he said nothing, allowing her to do what she would with her time and she was grateful. In her beginning weeks walking the already carved trails Lily met nothing, the forest seeming cold, barren and utterly asleep and silent. It felt sometimes as she traversed the thick brambles and thorny brush that her and Bee were the only creatures there at all. She knew it wasn't true but it certainly felt that way, the silence of the sleeping forest resounding.

It was a day like any other before the first creature of the forest revealed himself to her and it was as she was working at the cold hard soil in the field which she frequented, sometimes lying on the ground once she'd exhausted herself from softening the soil, watching the clear sky above as she recouped.

"You." The voice came from behind her and she snapped her head back in surprise, her stomach lurching, believing she'd finally been caught by someone and would now be in trouble. Her mouth dropped at who she saw, or rather _what _she saw when she turned, for she'd never seen anything like it. He was tall, taller than she'd ever imagined, his body towering unimaginably larger than her lanky scrawny form, on his almost flat longish face he held a light pinch between his brows, his pale blond hair falling into his blue eyed gaze. "You come here often don't you?"

"I-i.." She had not used her voice since the morning so she sounded scratchy, Bee sitting beside her as if for support as she stared up at the fascinating creature above her.

"Don't be frightened foal I mean you no harm." He said and she noticed his voice was light, boyishly light as if it had not broken yet and she realized that from where she sat (yes she was sitting) it was no wonder he seemed quite so large, but really, as her green eyes swept over his Palmino body she saw he was about the size of a pony, but with longer legs, and of course the added height of his abdominal, which was quick thin and scrawny like a young mans as well.

"Is this your clearing?" She managed to choke finally, realizing it could very well be centaur property and scolded herself for being so stupid thinking she could just prance around the forest-

"No... but I use it at night to watch the stars and couldn't help but notice your... activities." His eyes drifted behind where she was sitting to the mound of upturned dirt she was tilling.

"Oh." She said feeling quite relieved and brushing the dirt crumbs from her hands stood up, the centaur boy still quite a bit taller than her. Her cheeks flushed warm and she swallowed nervously, the centaur being the first new person, or rather creature she'd spoken to in a long while. "Is it bothering you... I'm a little new to the forest you see.."

"No, no.. just curious." He said, his large blue eyes blinking softly as he seemed to examine her, Lily resisting the urge to step back as he leaned over her curiously to give her hair a plaintive sniff. "I've never met a human foal before." He said sounding as interested in her as she was of him.

"I've never met a centaur before either..." She whispered, blinking up at his large blue eyes. "My names Lily."

"Lily.." He tested the name then stepped back, ducking his head as if a bow, his hoofs shifting against the hardened cold ground. "I am Firenze." He introduced himself cordially his voice straining roughly. Lily found something odd tug the corners of her mouth, her lips contracting into a beaming smile as an odd wave of elation washed through her nearly making her dizzy.

"Firenze... its nice to meet you." a smile sidled over Firenze's own mouth, and he tilted his head to the side looking to her side.

"Who is your companion?" Lily looked down sharply to see Bee regarding the Palomino centaur with golden eyes, her lion like tail swishing the ground.

"Her name is Bee." She answered, her fingers playing with the hems of her overly long armed robes.

"Is she your.. pet? I've heard humans enjoy keeping a variety of creatures." He asked with the sound of distaste on his tongue as if the thought was very terrible. Lily understood why after a moment of thought, she supposed keeping animals _was_ cruel in a way but as she looked at Bee she realized she'd never regarded her as anything but her friend and shook her head.

"I don't think so.." She said with a small laugh, wrinkling her nose. "She goes where she likes, and doesn't mind when I come along I think." Firenze nodded in pleased understanding at that, Lily swallowed biting her cheek to keep herself from asking too many questions but unable to stop one that slipped out. "You said you star watch here, does the rest of your..." She paused trying to recall the proper word. "_herd_ as well?" She asked trying to sense if there were anymore creatures in the forest around her but felt not even the tingle of sensing discomfort. The forest as still and dead as it always seemed to be, only the faint rustle of the leaves on the nearly still forest wind.

"No... I'm the only one of my herd to come to this clearing, it is away from the grounds we travel, I enjoy the quiet and solitude of this place." Lily couldn't help but agree.

"There's much peace here.. that's why I wanted to try and start a garden." She said quietly, gesturing to the upturned earth behind her, Firenze looking upon it with understanding now.

"Of herbs or flowers?" Lily bit her lip sheepishly realizing she'd hardly begun plan past the readying of the soil.

"I'm not sure yet, I've only just begun.." She admitted, still toying with the inside of her robe cuff nervously.

"There are flowers," He began quietly. "Lovely night blooming flowers that begin growing when the spring brings the wet and the frigid cold leaves. If I should bring you the bulbs would you plant them for me? So that I might have flowers at night?" His voice was so low and sweet and the request threw her off she found herself unable to even consider saying no, her heart giving a little leap at the prospect of seeing the centaur again, even if it was just in passing. She nodded quickly, her eyes shining in excitement.

"When should we-?"

"-I will find you." He said hooves beginning to pace, and back away. "I must return to my herd Lily foal, goodbye." He said backing up, Lily biting her lip and raising her hand, the robe gathering around her elbow exposing her forearm to the late February chill as she waved goodbye, the fascinating creature disappearing into the depths of the forest beyond.

Lily practically danced through the forest back home, skipping and spinning as she spoke in a rush to Bee.

"Did you see him Bee! I don't think I've met something so amazing before... Do you think all centaurs are like that? Do you think we'll see him again... ? after he gives us the bulbs I mean." She had never spoken in such a rush as she did walking through the serene and dead forbidden forest, her excitement uprooting her shy reserve and silence she mostly kept.

"Lily!" the rough calling of her voice hushed her into a dreaded silence, her heart bunching itself in her throat as she spun to see Hagrid coming through the woods. Her stomach plummeting as she realized she'd finally been caught, She hung her head unable to look at Hagrid as he approached. His large feet breaking twigs and the dead undergrowth beneath him as Bee circled her legs.

"I though' it was yer I heard," He said thoughtfully, his large warm black eyes squinting at her downcast form, his giant hand coming up to pat her black shiny hair gingerly. "Aye, Cheer up, did'ja think dull old Hagrid didn' realize where yer'd been sneak'n off to, aye?" The skin around his eyes crinkled warmly as her green ones lit up, her heart giving a stuttering tattoo in her chest.

"Really Hagrid? You knew all along?"

"No' really anyplace else left teh wander ter now is there? Yer bin keeping yerself ou' of trouble I hope? Did I hear yeh mudder'n somethin' bout Centaur's a momen' ago?" Lily nodded excitedly, placing her tiny hand in Hagrids absently as they began to wander back to the cottage, her mouth working excitedly to tell him about the encounter, probably with more words she'd used to speak to him in the past two weeks as she let the story spill out.

"A centaur approach yeh? Is almos' unheard of unless they got a score ter set'le, yer sure he came alone, this centaur?" Lily nodded as the first chilly wind of the Hogwarts grounds passed around them, the half giant and the child at the edge of the pumpkin patch still speaking as they neared the hut.

"Uh huh," She mumbled swallowing and withholding a shiver as the cold wind bit through her robes, using the back of her hand she rubbed the tip of her pink sharp tipped nose. "He wasn't a big centaur though," She added, remembering how large he seemed at first, but when she took a closer look seemed quite young still. "His name was Firenze." She told him, wondering if that would make a difference.

"Firenze eh? Haven' me' him myself, keep to themselves much'o tha time." Lily nodded in understanding, she'd read a little bit about centaur's, not much, but she knew they liked to keep to themselves and could be a bit territorial if threatened which is why she had been worried she'd encroached on the young blonde centaur's turf. They broke through the forest and neared the hut, Lily having fallen into thoughtful silence as Hagrid glanced around taking a peaceful breath of the cool sweet Hogwarts air.

_Was it really not so long ago when the whole country was in tumult? That Lily and James had held their young son close? _

Lily heard Hagrid sniffle and drew her eyes away from the slowly dimming sky to look at her companion.

"Hagrid..." She murmured, seeing the glitter of tears in in his eyes and feeling a touch of concern fill her, her hand reaching to his thoughtlessly. She held his large weather worn hand gently, her tiny pale hand dwarfed by his, barely able to wrap her hand around two of his fingers let alone the whole of his hand. She squeezed his fingers gently, feeling odd and unsure of what to do to comfort the man, her mouth parting silently before speaking the first words that came to her lips. "Its okay now Hagrid." Sniffing and altogether touched by her gesture Hagrid fought another wave of emotion and sniffed, grunting and gently knuckling the tears away with his other hand.

"I know.. I know." he muttered gruffly, looking to the sky which burnt orange on the horizon.

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Severus waved his wand, magically and silently calling a certain necessary herb that his students would need for the rest of the potions week. A moment later, his brow pinching in irritation his wand waved again to summon the simple ingredient. Nothing. With a frustrated groan his robes swooshed against the floor towards the open ingredients cabinet along the wall which he immediately began shifting through. His annoyance grew as he continued to rummage with no luck, his hand accidentally brushing to roughly against a glass jar containing another dried herb which sent it off the edge, and upon hitting the floor shattering with a crash. An annoyed snort at the back of his throat Severus flicked his wand and the jar re-arranged itself with the brittle herbs inside generally unharmed. He placed it back inside the cabinet before snapping the doors shut, wracking his brain trying to remember whether or not he had stocked up on the particular herb at the beginning of the year.

Striding to his desk he pulled a squeaky drawer open and plucked the old parchment list he'd created, his black eyes drifting down the list, finding nothing concerning the dry herb he shoved the parchment back into the drawer and strode determinedly out of the classroom heading towards his extra stores.

He searched, and not simply in his stores either, but he also met with Professor Sprout, finding little luck there as the ones before, until finally calling upon herb and potion ingredient stores. He met with the same dilemma each time. The plant was in season, but the stores would not be receiving any stock (fresh stock as he needed) until two weeks when they were delivered. The ones that they did have were old and dried, completely useless to him. Finally Severus was forced into making a disagreeable decision which Professor Sprout recommended. It was simple in theory, but Severus strove to avoid it at all costs So as a last hope he found himself in Dumbledore's office explaining to the old wizard his predicament.

"Ah, it is quite a problem Severus, one which I have an answer for," He answered, his intense blue eyes sparkling over the half moon shaped glasses which perched on the tip of his nose. At his response Severus felt relief. "I do believe that the plant of which you speak grows quite abundantly within the Dark forest. I'm sure Hagrid would not mind gathering the necessary amount for you." Severus's stomach twisted sourly, all relief completely gone. Bitterly he resigned himself.

"Thank you, Headmaster." He uttered, disappointed, Dumbledore's mouth curling mischievously in the corners as Severus strode away.

Now, having exhausted his resources he was forced into it, though he was almost considering just changing the curriculum around it, the task would prove ridiculously arduous. So, resigning himself to the unpleasant task he left the castle heading towards the groundskeepers hut.

.

.

"Hagrid!" The sun shone brightly in the pumpkin patch as Lily scampered after the half giant from their shared home on the edge of Hogwarts. The wind tousling her long black hair as she jogged after him, her bare feet, toughened from the forest walks because she'd since abandoned her shoes to the warming of weather. Hagrid paused at the cusp of the woods where darkness and shade exuded.

"Wha's tha'?" Hagrid turned pausing as the child ran to him, the kneazle Bee, hot at her heels as she always was as she came to a stop in front of him, her green eyes darkened in the shade but still shining happily. She seemed to have healed completely from her stay with Severus, even Hagrid noticing the difference in her, especially since she had begun travelling in the forest. Hagrid knew that Dumbledore might not have approved letting her wander unsupervised but he had a soft spot for the girl and when she had returned from her first trip through the forest he found he couldn't deny her the happiness she seemed to find there.

The issue of her wandering was now not an issue, for in the three months since she had returned she had not one dangerous encounter in the forest which Hagrid had heard of and was now content to allow her to completely wander much as he did as a child through the woods. Though Hagrid often forgot the difference between the two, the fact that while he was young when he began traversing the forest not nearly as young, nor was he as vulnerable as she was being a mere human. Simply Hagrid had faith in the forest and the girl, her eyes telling him as much that she innately respected the forest and its creatures as he did, Hagrid believing that the forest would treat her kindly in response.

"Can I join you today Hagrid?" She asked, her voice lilt with innocence and reserve which only she seemed to carry, Hagrid brushing his beard thoughtfully at her request as his kind black eyes happened to look past the girl to the spindly trail that led to his cottage, a dark form travelling down it, the destination clearly the cottage. Lily noticing Hagrid's line of gaze turned curiously, her brows pinching together as she saw the form anxiety lacing her quiet green eyes.

"Huh, I'm no' expectin anyone terday.." He mumbled gruffly the child's question forgotten as he lumbered forward, pebbles and earth crunching beneath his feet as Lily stood in spot quickly picking up Bee to hold and petting her as if to ease her discomfort as she watched the stranger approach.

She'd decided she didn't much like it when people came to visit Hagrid, generally because it tended to be Dumbledore, and be about taking her to Severus, an event which she had been told wouldn't be until the summer months came. Still, she became guarded, the dark stranger familiar in a way that made her only more uncomfortable. As the visitor came into closer view his almost bat like robes brushing across the ground she came ahead quickly to hide away from view behind Hagrid's back, her heart giving a start in her chest where she held Bee close to her.

"Oh, 'ello Professor, I din' expec' ter see yer." Hagrid grumbled in a friendly tone, Lily swallowing as she stood awkwardly behind him with her eyes squeezed shut hoping that he wasn't there for her.

"Believe me if I could have saved the trip it would have been done. However, a misfortune in the classroom has brought me here," He cleared his dry throat briefly before getting to his point, his hard black eyes staring into Hagrid's kind soft ones. "The root and leaves of the Hillywig plant, is necessary in my classroom for the next week or so. My stores are apparently depleted. The plant grows abundantly in the dark forest, it would be of immense help if you could gather, say, a few _hundred_?" he asked casually, Lily's ears prickling at the sound of the plant name, her eyes blinking quickly as she attempted to draw it from memory.

It was from her parchment scribblings... but that hadn't been the only memory she had of it.

_She remembered of walking as small fuzzy leafed plants brushed her thin pale ankles as she trotted through towards her clearing, Bee making small path of brushed down plants for her to follow, lightly threading in her wake..._

Hagrid's rough voice drew her back from her memory, drawing her back to the conversation.

"I don' think I've ever seen anythin' li'e this Professor, maybe Professor Sprout can help yah?" She could almost see Severus's sour displeased expression, her stomach knotting as she stood silently, Bee beginning to squirm uncomfortably in her grip before she loosened her hands apologetically, her mind still chugging thoughtfully at the memory that had presented itself..

"She's out as well I'm afraid, a pity you couldn't be of more assistance, I suppose Dumbledore overestimated in assuming you could be of some help." Severus drawled back, the barb sparking something in the girl hiding behind the half giant.

Hagrid was the kindest, friendliest person she had ever met, hearing Severus, a man that frightened her terribly, berate one of the only people she considered a friend made her... Well she wasn't sure Lily was never really sure about what to call the things that swirled around her chest, but it burned. For the first time Lily felt something other than fear for Severus. Maybe she had felt it while in Severus's care, but the feeling was probably buried unnoticed in the nervous strain that hung heavy in the air when she was near him.

Now, though, protected by the warmth of Hagrid's hut she felt it swell up inside her, something warmer and wilder than the flames inside the fireplace. Anger. In a moment she let Bee slide from her grasp and stepped out from behind Hagrid, her eyes glittering with determination rather than the usual silence, or quiet anxiety she carried there. Obviously making an effort to ignore Severus she stood turned towards Hagrid from his side and tugged on his large fuzzy vest.

"I know where that plant grows Hagrid." She told him confidently, her green eyes persistent "I can go get it." Hagrid looked surprised, his hand patting his great belly thoughtfully.

"Oh, very good then! Yah remember seein' em from our las' walk around the woods eh?" Lily's eyes shifted in confusion before she understood, blinking quickly as she noticed Hagrid's wink and giving a quick nod. Then faltered for the first time.

"Yes... but remember Hagrid, you squished them the last time we went because your feet are so big." She explained her voice quieting thoughtfully.

"Well, a can' jus' le' you go on yer own... even if yer do remember tha way." He grumbled, Lily dropping her head, her brows pinching together again as guilt nibbled at her. She had wanted to help Hagrid, to prove that Dumbledore hadn't been wrong in saying he could help. Lily knew how much Hagrid cared about what Dumbledore thought of him, though she didn't really understand why. A slow sigh of annoyance escaped from the person she had been ignoring. Severus not particularly happy with suggesting another answer.

"If she remembers the path I will accompany her to the place." Severus voice droned as if he very much would rather not have too, Lily too felt distinct displeasure at the thought, bitterness filling her mouth she realized she'd gotten herself into the mess and now she was going to have to live with the consequences.

Swallowing the taste she nodded looking down at her bare feet and chewing the inside of her cheek as her fingers played with the hems of her robes, nodding towards Severus finally and before turning to Hagrid, trying to still her nervous habits.

"Goodbye Hagrid."

"Take care of yerself now." Hagrid grumbled noticing with a hint of worry that her eyes had lost there lacklustre sparkle which she contained moments ago.

Lily sighed, swallowing before straightening herself and staring ahead determined to get the morning over with.

"Come on Bee.."

The forest was as quiet as ever, though now covered in splashes of budding life and green, the early migrated birds adding to the quiet whisper of leaves and the sounds of there feet against the earth. Lily wasn't wearing shoes, a fact the she hadn't really noticed, but Severus had, wondering if Dumbledore knew how Hagrid really looked after the girl. As they walked, Lily's mind slowly drifted as she followed the path she knew intimately towards their destination. She thought about what Dumbledore had said, what seemed like so long ago when she had returned with Severus from his home.

_"Why does he hate me so much?"_

Then Dumbledore's answer, mysterious, yet almost comforting.

_"Why, I don't believe he hates you at all my dear. You see, Severus is very much grieving, and in his grief he sees you as his punishment. His punishment for all the mistakes he's made, mistakes he deeply regrets making. What you must understand my dear is that when he looks at you, he does not see you as you are, but instead as all the terrible things he's come to regret."_

His punishment... Lily had not thought much about Severus for quite a long time, but now with his looming figure only a few paces behind her she began to ponder Dumbledore's words.

Why was Severus grieving? Was she really such a terrible burden to him? And her question about it all.. was it true?

_"Can I make it better?"_

_"I think its best to hope that, given enough time he will come to terms with his grief."_

She still felt Severus's disdain, for her, towards Hagrid even.. If Dumbledore hadn't been lying to make her feel better, then Severus was still grieving by the way he acted. How long did guilt and grief last? Lily wasn't sure if she even understood the meaning of the words. As she began to wonder more about such things something tugged her sharply to reality causing her to stop and stand still staring at the forest a head of her where she felt something.

"_Don't_ tell me you've forgotten the path." Just as quickly as the feeling had tingled through her it passed. Discomforted, but determined to continue she began walking again, the feeling in her chest making her wish more than ever the little trip would end soon.

"You are sure of where were going aren't you?" Annoyed moments later by Severus's second query she frowned at the forest ahead of her replying without looking back.

"Yes." She murmured just loud enough for him to hear her as she continued forward running her fingers through her hair, the forest shaded and quiet around them while her eyes searched warily around her. Never before had she felt so particularly _watched_ as she did now. It was a feeling that made her skin crawl in unease, though it could also have something to do with the man following close behind her.

She stopped and swallowed as she got to a familiar tree which Bee had taken the liberty to begin using as a scratch post and was something of a marker for her now. She had never attempted before to estimate the time it took her to get to a certain place in the forest, it had never really mattered. Now she frowned in concentration chewing on her cheek and fiddling with locks of her hair as her robes swished against the undergrowth. Just as she was getting comfortable with the silence and calm of the forest and her thoughts Severus spoke up from behind her.

"Just how long will this walk in the forest last?" Lily wasn't exactly comfortable speaking with, or to Severus, or being asked questions that weren't vehement. Being in the forest gave her a little peace though, and while she couldn't see Bee she knew she was around. Not to mention she didn't want to upset him by ignoring him, she had exhausted most of her courage back at the hut trying to defend Hagrid. _Didn't that work out splendidly?_she wondered bitterly before taking pause to answer him.

"Just a little longer." She said hoping that would satisfy him enough to let her lead him the rest of the way.

The forest became denser, another sign they were getting close to the spot, Lily almost at ease again when she saw something in the corner of her eye making her tense and turn, her neck prickling with the feeling of eyes on her making her stomach turn uneasily. There was nothing there and she swallowed taking a breath before continuing onward Severus saying nothing about her anxious glances and pauses.

Finally the trees broke around them, to reveal tall widely spaced tree's with the brightness of the sun coming down to soak the thick growth of Hillywig plant, fresh and young, hundreds and hundreds growing from trunk to trunk. Lily had always loved the walk through this part, actually her paths were still well defined by the soft malleable plants. A small scoff behind her made her turn to see Severus's mouth turned contemptuously making heat rise again through her. She had given him what he wanted, what he asked for and yet he still wasn't pleased, he actually looked even more _displeased._ Lily forced herself to look away from him before he looked at her, her small fists clenching. Why couldn't he just be pleased for once? Why was she so bad?

"Shall we begin or do you expect to laze about while I gather them?" She didn't say anything, she didn't look at him she just got to her knees and began burying her fingers in the soil to uproot the plant, she felt his eyes on her and scowled tugging sharply on the plant, her anger leaking out before a sharp blow made her jolt her heart throwing itself against her ribcage. "DON'T just rip them out you insufferable idiot. You'll bruise the roots and rip the stem." As if smacking her on the back of the head hadn't been enough he began to yell at her, his anger making her tremble. She wanted to just get up and run, run back to Hagrid and his warm hut and curl up into the cushions of the couch.

She didn't want to ever be around Severus again.

But she couldn't do any of those things, and worse. She wanted to cry so she did what she had to, she pulled on that reserve that she had used while staying with him, that calm grim resolution and numbness and shoved the tears back.

Her eyes dried miraculously though her hands still trembled she couldn't help but wish it was cold outside again, it was always easier in the cold to bury herself. She nodded weakly, her eyes darting back to the earth where she could already see what Severus had meant about the bruising and felt a stifling hatred. For him for being right, and for herself for doing it wrong in the first place.

"Show me how to do it?" She spoke, surprising herself, still feeling Severus hard black empty contempt filled gaze upon her. She couldn't look at him but she saw his black robes swish beside her and his spider like fingers move to gently unearth the Hillywig from the soft soil barely touching the plant until carefully placing it in a conjured wicker basket.

Neither spoke afterwards. Lily worked as silently as Severus did forcing herself to work carefully and gently even though she wanted to scream and sob and bury her own head beneath the earth. Those feelings slowly drained away the more she continued each plant, one after the other, one after the other... it was like walking down the steps of Severus home, careful... quietly, gently no matter how much your heart yearns to barrel down the stairs. There was a safeness in silence and method.

She didn't know how long it lasted but as she began burying her fingers into the soft soil of another Hillywig her wrist was caught suddenly by a flash of spidery fingers. Fear ricocheted up her arm from the touch, her eyes flying upwards wide and terror stricken. His black eyes seemed to waver momentarily, his curled mouth tugging downwards slightly as he released her wrist. She looked away but his eyes remained on her the words which he had meant to come out stopping in his throat and rearranging as he tucked his hand back into his robes.

"We're done here.." He murmured his voice empty with thought rather than contemptuousness. Lily shuddered silently and nodded, her hair falling against her cheeks messily as she picked herself up, brushing off her soil stained clothes. Bee greeted her as they walked once against through the dense forest and began to find there way back. She glanced at her in acknowledgement, her mind too distant to notice Bee was looking at her with particular intensity. She meowed in annoyance before Lily looked at her again, pausing as her ears flicked back in annoyance and her tail swished as she began to trot away. Lily's stomach clenched at the terrible thought that Bee was abandoning her when the animal paused and Lily happened a glance further a head of her, the sight making her heart stutter and her neck prickle.

Firenze bowed his head in acknowledgement and Lily realized the feeling she had all day of someone watching her hadn't been off, Firenze wanted to see her.

"Is there a reason were standing here?" Severus asked in annoyance and Lily glanced to him embarrassed, blurting the first excuse in her head.

"I have to go to the bathroom." She mumbled, propelling herself forward where the centaur had stood moments ago leaving Severus staring with a look of disgust imprinted on his pallid features.

Lily felt relief the further she got away from Severus disappearing into the forest following eagerly where Bee was leading her. When she stopped Lily did as well, watching as Firenze appeared from behind a tree his head tilting graciously again. Lily mimicked him her mouth stretching into an almost giddy smile. Her insides an excited mess for she hadn't seen the centaur since the first time she had met him when he had promised her to bring her bulbs. At that thought her she noticed a small sac which he carried over his left shoulder. Lily was the first to speak, her eagerness leaking out in a small burble of words.

"Are those-?" she started in a hurried huff the centaur looking pleased, his blonde tail swishing and swatting invisible insects in the air.

"The night blooming ones I promised? Yes, I was worried you may have forgotten.." he spoke in a lightly guarded excitement of his own, seeming pleased that she had clearly not forgotten him after all, Lily looking surprised at his words.

"I thought _you _were the one who'd forgotten." she replied earnestly, pleased as pie that it wasn't so, and happy to forget about the man waiting on her to return.

"I keep my promises." He answered solemnly and Lily's giddiness left her in a similar effect.

"I keep mine too." Before Firenze she didn't remember having ever made a promise, but it felt like such an important thing that she vowed that she would try and always keep her promises. In a small wordless exchange Firenze handed her the bag and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Lily practically barked, lurching forward making the young palomino take pause. His torso turned towards her his intense blue eyes making her turn pink from her forward outburst. "I.. will we see each other again?" She asked in faint hopeful whisper as if to balance for her louder outburst moments before. For a moment he seemed thoughtful, his expression studious of her before his head turned upwards abruptly as if he was studying invisible stars.

"Perhaps one day we might meet again." With his words hanging complacently on the air between them Lily feeling a stab of disappointment as she allowed him to part with a small nod of her head.

As Lily walked back towards where she had left Severus, the bag given to her by Firenze tucked beneath her robes she felt the stifling weight of gloom return to her. Nothing had changed, Firenze was but a parting creature, a friendly acquaintance but nothing more. Severus despised her, and she could do little against his utter loathing of her existence, and soon she'd have to return to a place which confined them together in musty disdainful silence.

Severus parted from her almost wordlessly, he did pause once in front of Hagrid's hut to spare her a dark eyed glance.

" Your assistance was... adequate." He told her, Lily registering the words as enthusiastically as he gave them and simply nodded, the thought of drawing his presence longer almost unbearable. Returning to the hut Lily felt hunger of an empty stomach from a long days work but felt too weak to make something, instead she curled herself on the couch and let bee sooth her as outside twilight approached.

.

.

As Severus made his way back to the school with his precious potion ingredient he was interested to find that Dumbledore was within the stone courtyard seeming to be looking at the stars. Suspicion instantly crept into Severus, his eyes narrowing on the old powerful wizard as he approached. It was Dumbledore who spoke first as he looked at the sky that was beginning to haze and slip into twilight.

"I find it is quite peaceful to stand beneath an open sky during Twilight.." He seemed to ramble in his way that made him seem like an innocuous old wizard. Severus knew better and he wasn't persuaded by his attempt to lull him into a false sense of security.

"Personally I find it just as peaceful as every other part of my day." Severus rebuked curtly Dumbledore chuckling and finally lowering his eyes to look at Severus from over his half moon spectacles. What he observed with his old wrinkled piercing blue eyes Severus hadn't the slightest, nor the interest currently, for he'd rather be retired to his personal study by now. Dumbledore though, had other plans.

"I see your ingredient harvesting has proven quite successful," Dumbledore noted, a smile faint on his mouth as he gestured with his boney white hand towards the baskets Severus carried.

"They will serve there purpose." He answered warily sensing where Dumbledore was taking the conversation.

"And the girl proved quite useful towards your endeavours as well?"

"She too served her purpose." He snapped then snidely continued. "You should be proud Dumbledore, that Hagrid is making such a fine job of her care. Allowing her to wander the forests as she wishes and do it _barefoot_." His tone curled venomously, curious to what Dumbledore would rebuke him with, or if he would at all. He said nothing for a moment the day becoming shades of purple, Dumbledore once again seemed to be admiring the sky and sweet air before he spoke.

"Can you claim to be a much better guardian Severus?" His pallid cheek twitched and he said nothing. "No I did not think so.." He murmured anger igniting in Severus at the accusation that _he _was no better than Hagrid.

"She's impudent! Ungrateful, Selfish-" He snarled fuming before Dumbledore cut him off with a quiet word.

"alone.." Severus stilled Dumbledore's hand brushing down his silvery white beard. "and in your care now because of the regretful choices you've made."

"Have I not repented? Have I not suffered? not lost enough?" Severus demanded his brows pinched and his arms suddenly beginning to tremble with the violent cold fire of rage beginning create a cold sweat on his body. Dumbledore's eyes connected to his firmly, blue and fathomless as he answered.

"No, Severus not nearly enough." At his words Severus became livid, his sullen cheeks draining of the little blood that coloured them. Dumbledore let him leave wordlessly enraged, his bright blue eyes wandering the sky as the stars began to blink. Quite alone Dumbledore continued quietly. "Perhaps, you'll have suffered enough when you no longer force others to suffer as you have..."

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AN- Good chapter? I should hope since I haven't updated in like... what a year? Its felt like its been a year. I'm such a dick, I wish I had more discipline when it comes to my writing. Sorry, not sure when the next chapter will appear, but do enjoy!

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